Kuwait: Shocking Culture?

I understand that Culture Shock ( CS)  is a normal process even if you have worked abroad or have traveled extensively. 
It's perfectly normal for one to feel alienated, displaced and physical and emotional discomfort. The length and breadth of CS though, depends on one's emotional, mental and physical health. 
Like many emotional things, CS symptoms do not occur on a direct linear continuum; the more common experiences occur in more of a spiral, with emotions and symptoms ebbing and waning as time passes. More often then not, the symptoms might be leap-frogging over each other, one might skip a few stages, and then go back to the beginning...and for me, it could be all in an afternoon!

The first stage is the Honeymoon stage: 
This stage probably starts even before you get on the plane to fly off into the unknown. Everything is great, you are excited about your new adventure. People are in awe of your courage, you feel confident, proud and scared. You arrive...you are thrilled at all the new sights, sounds, food, experiences. You meet new people! Your just so darn proud of yourself! Your emails home are all about how great of an adventure you are having!! Its amazing here! You are meeting people and seeing new things!! Its great, Mom, really!!! 

This stage for me, hits me at different times, still. I might be walking along the ocean, looking out over the ocean and imagining a globe in my head, and me, a teeny tiny pin prick on that globe--somewhere in Kuwait. My loved ones in Canada, Italy, England, South Africa are other teeny tiny pin pricks evident only if you spin the globe around...I think " wow, look at me, this is incredible". 
I feel proud and happy about my confidence to get out of my North American rut and pursue this adventure. I am grateful for the opportunities I have in this amazing life.

The next stage is Shock:
This is where you are irritated by daily experiences such as driving conditions, You are fed up with the pushy, demanding, ridiculous foreign procedures that you have to deal with. You are lonely, moody, angry and resentful. You miss your culture, where you know the rules.  

I am experiencing this stage a lot now and only  when I am driving. The sheer arrogance, dangerous and preposterous!!!! driving practices of these people, makes me wonder about the state of humanity. 
Knowing that there are people on the planet that have total disregard for someone in the next vehicle over, is shocking to me and quite frankly--I feel despair. I do not understand the psyche that would cause someone to drive as impatiently and dangerously as they do here. I am considering getting a driver, but would not enjoy the lack of control that I would experience, trusting my life into someone else's hands, who is an expert maniacal driver. 

The third stage is Negotiation: 
You gain some understanding of the culture. You find pleasure in daily life and your humour returns. You might feel angry at times, but more frequently you feel confident. 

I experience this stage at all times as well. I truly enjoy my life here in Kuwait, there is much good about it. I miss aspects of my life in Canada, I miss the familiar, and I miss my loved ones, but I enjoy my new experiences and being immersed in the culture here. 
I feel blessed and grateful for the opportunities and I love my job. 

The "final" stage is Acceptance/Independence: 
This stage is experienced by people who see both the good and bad aspects of the new culture, and they are beginning to assimilate into their new life.

There are 4 different styles that people adopt at this stage:
Integration: maintaining old cultural identity but participating in the new culture
Separation: maintaining old cultural identity but avoiding contact with the new culture
Assimilation: adopting the new culture as your own and having contact with its members
Marginalization: rejecting your old culture but suffering rejection by members of the new culture.

I am happily entrenched in the 'Integration' stage, except on the days when I am tired and fed up and then I flip over to 'Separation".  I go regularly from " I really enjoy it here, quality of life is good and all is well" to " Oh my god if I get run off the road one more time I am going to go insane and I cant wait to go home and how can these people be so RUDE!!!!"...and that is just fine. 
It's normal and expected. 
The important thing is to be aware and not to panic...the new phase will come round. 

So much of the success of a 'new life in a new country' depends on how one looks after one's mental and emotional health. It is also affected by one's previous identity and successful socialization in their 'old life'. 

( There are a lot of ex-pat whackadoodles here...just sayin'.)

All in all, it's all good. 
I continue to monitor how I feel, and on the many days that are good, I enjoy life here to the fullest. 
On the odd days that are bad, I hole up in my home and binge on familiar American TV shows like "Gilmore Girls."...and I stay off the road. 

Kuwait: "I will run you down"

The time has come for me to make a comment on the driving habits of people in Kuwait. 
In a nutshell: Never in my life have I had the misfortune of sharing the road with such arrogant, entitled, pushy, aggressive and dangerous drivers.

If you are a pedestrian, and you want to cross the street at rush hour--forget it: they will run you down. I have no doubt in my mind. 

But its not just their behaviour on the road...today, I parked my car in a regular, designated parking spot, in front of a shop.  The shop, and so the parking spot was right outside a mosque. It was Friday prayer time. 
When I came out of the shop, I saw,  much to my dismay that someone had parked right behind me. Not only was he blocking me in and another car in, he was blocking the lane on the road. 
I ask you--who does that???? 
Who is so arrogant, self-centered and self-important to think that its OK to park behind a couple of vehicles that are legally parked  thereby blocking them in??
Would you want anything to do with this person? (It was not lost on me that the man was, presumably, at mosque.)
I was speechless at the audacity and total lack of caring that this man displayed about anybody else other than his need to park his car and get to mosque. Unbelievable. 
What would this driver be like on the road?
Well, what he would be like, is what is evidenced by myself every time I get behind the wheel. 
They drive like they are driving bumper cars. 
They don't stop at stop signs, they don't signal, they are texting, talking on the phone, playing with their kids ( who are often on their laps) and otherwise totally disengaged from the driving process. 
And...they will run you down. 
They push their huge vehicles into spaces that will not accommodate their car causing you to back up....just to advance a few inches when there is a bottle neck of traffic.
They consistently swerve in and out of lanes, trying to gain those few inches before they get to the next light.
If you are not driving as they think you should be driving ie texting, talking on the phone, or playing with your kid who is sitting on your lap, not going 30 km over the speed limit, or generally obeying the rules of the road, they will honk and ride your bumper, all while talking on the phone.

They do not care if your car is there, if you are where they want to go, they will run you off the road.
If they want to stop, they will stop, who cares if it is in the middle of the road??Heck, people stop in the middle of the road, to make a phone call!!!

Who does that??

I have met some wonderful Kuwaiti people here--but seriously, what happens to them when they get behind the wheel? 

Drive at your peril--but bear in mind: They really will run you down. 

Kuwait: Trust your gut.

As a follow up to my comments on the road to the Iraqi border and trusting your gut...I would like to make the following observation:
Sometimes, when we act out of fear, we deny ourselves some pretty great experiences.
Case in point. I was really nervous on that deserted road, in the middle of nowhere in my teeny tiny Toyota Corolla. In fact, I was very inclined to turn around. I probably should have turned around--because in reality it really wasnt wise to go alone. However. Should I have turned around, I would have denied myself the exhilarating feeling of doing something I was afraid of doing.
In addition, I would have not experienced the thrill of having some camels stick their heads in the open windows of my car, demanding food. And I would have missed the camel nuzzling me, encouraging me to feed him
Also--another important fact that I would have missed was the wonderful experience of communicating with the locals. My mom and I got totally lost on the roads that go nowhere, and are unmarked...and we had no choice but to ask for directions ( something that I was reluctant to do, as to not to draw attention to ourselves). Anyway, after driving around aimlessly for 2 hours, we had NO choice but to ask for directions, and the experience of connecting was quite charming. The men were very, very helpful, we were certainly an oddity, and a point of interest and we drew attention from most of the neighbours in the community. It was even suggested that we follow  the man in his car and he would take us to the main intersection we were looking for.
Of course, we were also asked in for tea--a lovely offer, but we declined.
Here is my observation. If we live our lives in fear, we do nothing. Fear can paralyze us. If we venture out in fear, but with caution, and calculated risk, we open ourselves up to some pretty great opportunities and experiences--and somehow the fear, only adds to the enjoyment. 
Kinda like riding a roller coaster ( where you dont get sick and throw up. )

Kuwait: Time Out Part 2

So to continue on our " Things to do in Kuwait when you have nothing to do" is the camel market. 

Fun Facts about camels: 

• Camels might not drink for months. 
• Baby camels are born without humps.
• Camels dont store water in their humps
• There are over 160 Arabic words for "camel"
• Camels have two rows of eyelashes to protect their eyes from dust.
• Camels can close their nostrils when they need to.
• The camel is the only animal to have replaced the wheel, when the wheel was already established. 

The Camel Market:
The Camel Market is, just as the name implies, a market where all they sell is camels. Yeah--I dont get it either. I really dont know what commodity camels are in this day and age--its not like the desert in Kuwait is inviting, as is the Sahara for example, with its burnished golds and sand dunes. The desert in Kuwait looks like an old beach after the tourists have gone home for the fall.... without the ocean. Anyway, I heard that the camels are used for wool, meat, milk and hobbists--but still, whats the point? I think perhaps its more of a link to the past then anything else. 
Camels that are a year old can be 1200$ and some camels ( especially the white ones) can go for over 20,000$! Thats a lot of money for a camel.

There must be over a 1000 camels in pens, the market is huge. Very enjoyable day. 

Camels as far as the eye can see

Just sitting there, waiting....

Feeding the camel bits of apple. Notice the direction of the lower row of teeth, they slant out. This helps them scoop up plants etc from the desert floor. 

A prized " White Camel" 

 They are very cute, dont you think? 

Closed nostril.

So, if someone can explain to me what the whole camel market thing is about, it would be appreciated!

Kuwait: Time Out Part 1

My Mom came to visit me for a few weeks, and we spent the time doing all the things that one does in Kuwait, when one is looking for things to do. Surprisingly, there is actually quite a bit to do in this small little corner of the world. The constant bad reputation that 'working and living in Kuwait' has is getting a bit tiresome, quite frankly. 
I feel that perhaps, the perceived lack of activities is much more about the lack of an obvious drinking culture, and less about activities. In addition, I think we have become a society that demands to be entertained, and we are much less willing to work at seeking our own amusement. Very similar to being a child in today's world, with internet and techno-gadgets up the whazoo vs being a child of the 1950's where playing 'cops and robbers' outside was the highlight of the summer. 
Anyhoo....here is a map of Kuwait, for reference. 



1) Drove to the Saudi Border. 
This was actually not a huge investment of time, as Kuwait is fairly small but  we did make a day of it. The drive from Shaab ( Kuwait subdivision) south, to the Saudi Border beyond Fahaheel takes one through some interesting land marks along the way--one of them being the Al Ahamdi Oil Refinery, which, according to Lonely Planet's Guide to the middle east, is the largest in the world. 
It must be about 5 km long, and looks very much like something out of a Mad Max Movie ( the first one, and btw, the sequel's sucked). 
The road follows the coastline and drives through some of the ugliest desert, in the world..in my opinion. 
In the desert we saw camps and tents that had the ubiquitous large vehicle ( here they make sense) parked outside. I am not sure why these tents/camps exist so if someone can help me make sense of that, that would be appreciated.
After about a 2 hour drive  ( with no detours) we arrived at the Saudi Border--which was  kind of anti-climactic. But in all fairness, there might have been a proper border crossing beyond the depth of this photo.

Kuwait/Saudi Border

2) Drove to the Iraqi Border
For our next adventure, we drove north along the Persian Gulf to the Iraqi Border. This drive was much more interesting, as the desert was a bit different--the "feel" was different, and it was a bit more picturesque. We did not take the main road, but rather we chose to take a back road, running up along Bubiyan Island ( which is now a military base). This seemed like a really good idea at the time, but after about 5 minutes driving on the road--I had toquestion my judgement. What the heck was I thinking?? Here we were--two western ladies, ( I in a sleeveless dress) driving a teeny tiny Toyota Corolla, down a deserted road in a fairly conservative Middle Eastern Country, into a war zone....not really sure why we did that, quite frankly, but there you have it. 
The road was long and very deserted except for the yahoos who would go racing by us in their pick up trucks and Four wheel drive vehicles....I prayed that the car would not break down, for we would truly be at the mercy of Allah. 

Road from Kuwait to Iraq...

All fear was erased however, when we stopped to look at a small herd of camels that were strolling along the road. The camels were obviously quite used to people and cars, for they came right up to the car, and were obviously begging for food. My mom fed them some apples we had in the car. 
It was a very nice and happy moment...but I was still nervous, as we were now out of the car and making our presence known to the passers by. 

Camel coming to the car, begging for food.

Kuwait/Iraq Border

The border crossing was a bit anti-climactic though. I think I expected more hoopla and security All we were met with was a very nice military guy who was helpful, respectful and courteous--as he told us to turn around and that entry into Iraq was forbidden. ( Actually kind of glad he put his food down--or lord knows what we would have done. :) )